I don't like Mondays: It's Wednesday Edition
And that is what we shall do. BearMeat reserves the right to lean heavily on our hollow crutches filled to the brim with Rebel Yell this upcoming Saturday. This season has dragged on far too long. The week has been slow and arduous here. It's hard to get up out of bed and say to yourself, "Dammit! I'm going to do my best to be the best satirist I can be about the most satirical BCS football program in the country! I AM A bEARmEAT WRITER....Yay!?"
BearMeat in Stillwater. Circa Spring '07.
Anyways...Bruins Bold has done an excellent job of detailing and explaining the GuyMo era, which we think we can safely say is almost over. Let's just get the hell outta dodge and get on to other sports. Winnable sports. As in Big 12 Conference victories sports.
Infared BearMeat searching for the infamous Oklahoma Predator
TurdPolishing has invaded the Dallas Morning News. I do think it was nice to see the O-Line show up to play this year. They are far and away the ComeBack Players of the Year award winners. According to our inside sources, Blake Szymanski apparently has hands the size of a 9 month baby and a heart as fragile as a pet rabbit. Cheers to our new season passing leader in various categories of statistic greatness! Jeers to non-contact turnovers!
[An important side note here. Would you believe that some Baylor football "fans" don't prefer Mike Singletary as head ball coach because he is married to a white woman??? Some of the pricks on TurdPolishers.com make Aggies look like decent human beings. What a pathetic display of support for Baylor. The fervor over there used to make me chuckle. Now it's more like vomit.]
Anyways. Watch out Waco! Community leaders are actually thinking about not putting up the giant Texas Ranger statue. Let's see what the local businesses are saying...
Honey Rader, owner of Honeys Home+Style in downtown Waco, said the statue wouldn't help the city's image.
Radar said especially if it reminds people of the Branch Davidians and their deadly standoff with law enforcement.
Honey?...Rader?...Quite possibly the best name ever?!
"More Honey! Less Statue!"
The Gentlemen Bears are headed to the Virgin Islands for the Paradise Jam Tournament, and all I can think about is how much poon-tanging Aaron Bruce will be accomplishing on Temptation Island. If any of you all out there have some hot, soft-core action stories about The Bruce, please forward it our way. Please. Also, I really hope we play and crush Notre Dame in the tournament. That would be awesome.
"Throw another virgin on the barbie, mate!"
The Lady Bears play tomorrow night against Texas Pan-Am and then take a ten-day break until a Sunday match-up in Waco with the California "Golden" Bears. This will be a televised game on FSN and a great game to boot. A Baylor victory will help propel them to top ten status in the polls and an eventual National Championship. We are known for our embellishment.
Devanei Hampton (Not Pictured): "My hands are bigger than Blake Szymanski. Period."
Alright, chew on that. Green 'n' Gold in Solidarity. Sic 'Em Bears.
Labels: I don't like Mondays