Monday, October 15, 2007

Rearranging Deck Chairs on the Titanic

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The S.S. GuyMo: Full Speed Ahead!

Amidst Baylor Lariat sports editor Will Parchman's call for GuyMo's head, and the persistent booing by the Bear faithful at home games, GuyMo is entertaining the idea of giving singer-songwriter (seriously) walk-on QB Ryan Roberts the nod for the game against Texas, which is a great idea considering that is an excellent opportunity to let an untested QB lead a team over a cliff. Nothing quite like throwing your small child to the wolves when at least your older children are armed with knives. GuyMo possesses the rare ability to turn a bad situation into a worse situation. When life gives you lemons, throw the lemons away. Not happy with your pre-season QB situation? Why not keep your team, coaches, fans and alumni guessing until the season opener? That way, everyone will be extremely confident with your choice, since it was such a long, deliberative process.

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GuyMo: "I am the Decider. Blizzle, out. Roberts, in."

Not happy with the way your QB is playing before the toughest game on your schedule? Why not give the only QB on your roster that no one has heard of (and who was not among the 4 QBs in contention for the starting spot) a chance to prove his worth in the game that used to be a rivalry, but has turned into ritualized slaughter? Of course, we could go on and on like this, but why don't we just let Will Parchman take it from here:
Morriss has had five years to recruit, build and mold. His recruiting classes are still mired in the nation’s bottom half. His average recruiting class since his arrival is 79th out of 119 D-I schools. Call it the Baylor factor, but any school should expect better than that, let alone a BCS school.

His inability to recruit quarterbacks has been the scariest part. No Morriss-recruited quarterback has ever won a Big 12 game. Following Baylor’s loss under the lightning Saturday to Kansas, Blake Szymanski is 0-6 as a starter in Big 12 games and last Saturday’s 20-point blowout to Colorado was the closest he’s ever come to winning one. That’s why it appears this Morriss-built program has reached a disappointing plateau. This team is five years in the making. Where is the progress?

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3 Comments:

  • I think we should compile a comprehensive list of everyone who is directly responsible for this season.

    I'd put Weed up around #5.

    By Blogger BDP, at 12:54 PM  

  • My first instinct, obviously, is to blame Kevin Steele for not recruiting middle school kids to come to Baylor during GuyMo's tenure. He'd probably be high on the list. Maybe #2 or #3.

    I'd like to lay some ground rules and take players out of the picture. I assume you mean by "Weed" that the rampant marijuana use among the coaching staff has contributed to the slacktastic coaching this season.

    Also, Susie Oliver's hijinks have got to by high on the list. Our cheerleaders should be in 2 piece outfits, preferably with thongs. This is the 21st century, people! Sadly, Susie is taking us back to the days of ankle-length dresses and bonnets. That must factor into the morale of our Cubbies.

    By Blogger Senior Editor Red Andrews, at 1:17 PM  

  • We obviously can't match teams in talent and execution, so we will have to resort to subterfuge. We can start by painting the visitor's locker room pink, a la Hayden Fry.

    By Blogger bluearmadillo, at 12:02 PM  

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