Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Gunder Thorson Presents: Baylor Boyz

I always knew that Gunder Thorson was special. When we first, ahem, abducted Intern Thorson from a mildewed basement in the suburbs of Chicago, our plan was to treat him like all the other male interns. Low wages, meager tips, Amiga 1000s, scraps thrown from the "Table of Fists and Feasts," chewed pen caps, dried up hi-liters, and Ziggy scrapbooks...to name a few of the perks of being a BearMeat intern.


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King GuyMo interviewing for the head coaching position at Prairie View A&M


However, Gunder turned out be something very special. He pampered us. We would rise from our plush beds to delicious coffees, a tablespoon of Rebel Yell for each Editor, fresh meats and berries, and of course Gunder's specialty, bagels with goat cheese and smoked eels (delivered daily from the Baltic Sea, mind you). We couldn't chew this one up and throw out the 13th floor. We had a keeper here.


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Gunder: "My early years were difficult. My lips attracted many sex."


So it is with no great surprise that Gunder's research during the wee hours of this fine Halloween would turn up some BearMeaty Madness. What we have here are some young and virile Baylor Boyz. Nothing like getting crunk, taking some HGH, and celebrating a boring Red Sox World Series Championship. This video has the following: slow motion, violence, young boys grabbing each other, broken doors, a dude named Cheece, a meaty ass crack, Jonathan Papelbon if he went to Baylor.

(Please Lord, for the sake of BearMeat's advertising budget, let this be actual Baylor baseball players)


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3 Comments:

  • That Gunder is alright. God I hope those are not our baseball boys. They have enough problems already.

    Any word on potential punishment for the latest offense?? I hope none.

    Really, that beer could have been bought using a fake ID by anyone there. And half the places in Waco that don't even check ID's.

    By Anonymous poopsandwich, at 12:43 PM  

  • John Chece was, according to the Baylor Athletics site
    , a Baylor football player in the 2005 season. Can't seem to find anything else on him.

    I'll report back with more and a full bottle of Rebel Yell for you, Guvn'r.

    Gunder

    By Anonymous Gunder Thorson, at 1:18 PM  

  • Poopie, No word on the boozing infractions that took place about a month ago. I thought the whole thing was pretty lame.

    I imagine lawyers would be able to throw out anything that they were charged with.

    Heck, if Baylor Athletics was smart they would have a $1 million dollar retainer on hand with the best legal counsel in Texas:

    The Great Vic Feazell!

    Gunder, I love you like poison. Great research. Hopefully this is only the beginning of the Cheece dynasty.

    By Blogger Pat Neffistopheles, at 1:24 PM  

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