Sunday, September 02, 2007

The Plague of Frogs

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Then the LORD said to Moses, "Go to Pharaoh and say to him, 'This is what the LORD says: Let my people go, so that they may worship me. If you refuse to let them go, I will plague your whole country with frogs. The Nile will teem with frogs. They will come up into your palace and your bedroom and onto your bed, into the houses of your officials and on your people, and into your ovens and kneading troughs. The frogs will go up on you and your people and all your officials.' " Exodus 8: 1-4


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As with most football defeats, the BearMeat Editorial Board must mine the Scriptures for the appropriate spiritual balm for our 27-0 burn. The Plauge of the Frogs seems most appropriate for what just happened. We have been bested. A plague of frogs descended on our Baby Bears and decimated the sweet little cubs. Perhaps we should learn a lesson about arrogance and trash talk before taking on opponents who are superior to us offensively, defensively, and in special teams. With a freshman QB and their best player MIA, the Frogs easily dealt with the in-theory formidible AirBear offense. We have a pass-happy offense that failed to score a single point. Think about that. Szymanski's play in the first half was competent, but his 2nd half breakdown and failure to make the right decisions at crucial moments revealed much. Just like Scott Drew's Gentlemen Bears, GuyMo's squad can't seem to close out games and score when needed. While we love The Polish Pony a great deal, perhaps the fact that the starting QB position was named at 5pm on gameday might have hurt the confidence of Blake and the offense. Our defense held up well, but 4 turnovers and 2 missed FGs did not assist their efforts one bit. The single question coming out of this game is not "Can we make a bowl game this year?" or, even "Will we field a competitive team?" No, the answers to those are clear. The question is: "Can GuyMo salvage his Baylor coaching job?"

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Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown

A few notes:
  • How much do you think the "FrogTags" made by GuyMo that said "Beat the Frogs" will fetch on Ebay? Our guess is nearly $1 (USD).

  • Also, if anyone was impressed with the play of the two underclassmen QBs and has confidence that they can lead this team through our schedule, please make your case in the comments section. The BearMeat Editorial Board stands by John David Weed, who seems much tougher and ready to play. However, if the two QBs who got the nod yesterday were the best of the four, that doesn't bode well for the rest of the season.

  • Did anyone notice that Appalachian State's head coach (who led ASU to last year's D1-AA championship and one of the biggest upsets in college football history yesterday against Michigan), Jerry Moore, is a Baylor alumni? Hmmm. How could we make that fact work for us?



We leave you with a quote from the prophet Jeremiah: "So put on sackcloth, lament and wail, for the fierce anger of the LORD has not turned away from us." 4:8

Its gonna be a long season. Sic 'em, Bears.

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10 Comments:

  • Woah. Just stumbled on this site. So do you guys have, like, Klan Rallies for Jesus at halftime? I guess this is what happens when white trash go to college.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:15 PM  

  • Anon:

    Welcome to BearMeat! We hold our Klan Rallies for Jesus at our double-wide trailer, which is located in Waco at the corner of Parody St & Satire Ave. When white trash like ourselves are admitted to college, we tend to pick up sophisticated senses of humor and dabble in the dark, sardonic arts. From your comment, it appears that you have read our text as a literalist, which we encourage. Hope you enjoyed the bizarre voyage that must have been for you.

    Sic 'em,

    Red

    By Blogger Senior Editor Red Andrews, at 4:32 PM  

  • Wait... please, at least tell me that the part about the interns is literally true.

    By Blogger Mark Osler, at 10:14 PM  

  • Don't worry, Razor, we still have 83 underpaid interns who work for us at the ALICO building. The satire and parody elements don't refer to our identities and work environment. All of that is literally real.

    God bless,

    Red

    By Blogger Senior Editor Red Andrews, at 10:36 PM  

  • I can vouch for them, the great Baylor export is in full effect at the Alico.

    By Blogger BDP, at 10:46 PM  

  • Thanks, BDP! You are our chief credibility witness.

    By Blogger Senior Editor Red Andrews, at 8:03 AM  

  • BearMeat, launch the "Draft Jerry Moore" movement NOW.

    By Anonymous Loomisboy, Homeless Son of Samuel Brooks, at 1:16 PM  

  • If only that dude wasn't pushing 70 . . . still I'd trade a middle-aged hack for an elderly winner any day.

    By Blogger Senior Editor Red Andrews, at 3:25 PM  

  • Huh ... John Candy is alive and well in Fort Worth. Who knew?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:07 PM  

  • "Woah. Just stumbled on this site. So do you guys have, like, Klan Rallies for Jesus at halftime? I guess this is what happens when white trash go to college."

    I am always amazed at this site's ability to attract painfully unfunny and awkward responses from its detractors.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:25 PM  

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