Sunday, August 19, 2007

Lariat Sports Writer Tired of People Wanting Equality

Having nothing better to do and growing bored with a season that has not yet begun, I read an article in the Lariat about how great it is the B is finally getting an on campus practice facility. Mixed in with the usual "this is just what Baylor needs to get back on top" company line, Will Parchman, decided he would toss in a line about being sick and tired of everyone whining about equality.

That should silence those crowing for equal opportunity in all sports, especially proponents of Title IX, which has all but crippled far too many athletic departments.
This is basically a throw-away line for Will about private donations funding the facility. The primary purpose of his article was to advocate for the practice facility being a small part of getting the football team on the right track and it in turn helping out the athletic department and the university as a whole. However, despite having nothing to gain from this line and certainly not being interested in following-up this statement with any sort of justification he just moves on his merry little way. It's as if Will has absolutely no idea how ludicrous his sentence is. BearMeat in its constant humble attempt to out-preposterous itself couldn't come up with a sentence like that if we had all 25 freshman Interns on the Etch A Sketch.

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Artist's sketch of a "crippled athletic department".

First off, Will starts the sentence by placing himself in the oh so rare "not for equality crowd". That's a hard group to find advocates for, so kudos to you. Next he seems to equate Title IX and people interested in equality. Once again he is firmly not in that camp and plus, they are always bringing up equality and that makes Will cranky. Finally, he caps it off by saying the folks that brought you Title IX and equality have crippled many athletic programs...And... change subject. That' a meaty dangler if I ever saw one. No explanation of how exactly Title IX crippled athletic programs or a discussion of the purpose of athletics at a university or if Baylor's football program crippled itself, was crippled by Title IX or if we are in a permanent vegetative state and Jeb Bush is the only thing keeping us alive. I am left only with the hope that Will will follow this story up a piece on Baylor track and field and its constant struggle to get gold medal talent to practice off campus entitled, "Coach Hart's Cross to Bear: 5 Minutes from Campus and a Million Miles from the Lord".

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After consulting with Senator Frist, Will was sure that Baylor
football was alive and well despite all "evidence" to the contrary.

1 Comments:

  • In a shining example of fairness, the Lariat also features an opinion piece which points out the damage done to other sports by the football practice facility. Claire St. Amant writes:

    ... We've displaced more athletes than we're helping.

    Soccer fields, an outdoor pool, and one of only two student tennis courts were all demolished in the name of football.

    In a spirit entirely unlike the "Baylor Family," only one team benefits while several are dislodged. Varsity women's soccer, the club water polo team, kayak polo and many other recreational activities that enhance student life were shoved aside for the sacred cow of football. ...

    By Anonymous Scamp, at 6:03 AM  

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