Friday, August 17, 2007

Daily Dimebag: How Weed Was Smoked

Well, going into training camp this August, GuyMo announced that it was a two-man race between 26-year-old former minor league baseball player and transfer Michael Machen and JuCo student favorite John David Weed. This was based on a four month ongoing analysis of their performances. Now, thanks to impressive performances in practice, there is still a two-man race. The race has changed somewhat it is now between 2006 season tackling dummy Blake "Stem Cell/Polish Pony" Szymanski and redshirt freshman Tyler Beatty.

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Survivor Waco: Battle for Baylor Field General

So four men enter, two men leave. Unfortunately the Pony's ankle injury may make him a question mark for the TCU game. Thus, instead of the three QBs who have played college ball before, GuyMo and Lee "Desperado" Hays may be giving the starting nod to Tyler "I eat Wheaties" Beatty, who is just now learning how to pick up a horny Pi Phi at Scruff's. Pathetic. Quoth Lee Hays:
“Quite honestly, I was hoping the junior or senior would have won it,” Hays said, “because I don’t ever want to throw a young guy in there unless I think he’s ready. So it would have been a lot easier on me to go with one of the older guys that’s played a little bit and let those two watch and not be thrown into the fire.”


Well, who knows, maybe Blake or Tyler will emerge as just the man for the job. It just seems like a 4 QB circus just got a little crazier. Am I the only person who this distresses just a little?

Also, the WacoTrib reports on future Professor of Campaign Ethics Karl Rove's breakfast with MBA students. Was our dear Swanburg among that select group? Did he get to touch the robes of the Boy Genius, aka The Architect, aka Turd Blossom, aka Mr. "John McCain has an black bastard child"? He must tell us.

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4 Comments:

  • I think there should be an official Bearmeat T-shirt that alludes to how we all pine for the glory days of Shawn Bell.

    I like how Hays basically states that since Bell left, there are no real winners.

    I can't wait for the season to start!

    By Blogger BDP, at 10:03 AM  

  • We have been thinking of unveiling a t-shirt line . . . this season is bound to underwhelm us all . . . i'm crying right now.

    Red

    By Blogger Senior Editor Red Andrews, at 12:28 PM  

  • I was not invited. Turns out they only invited friends, family and people that wouldn't say things like, "So . . . I heard you fucked up pretty bad. You want to talk about it?"

    P.S.

    Sorry for the lengthy hiatus.

    By Blogger Jonathan Swanburg, at 10:31 AM  

  • J-Swan:

    We love you. Welcome back. That last comment wins the Meatiest Comment Award for August.

    Red

    By Blogger Senior Editor Red Andrews, at 3:04 PM  

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