Thursday, July 05, 2007

Breaking News: Durant to Baylor, “I do.”

In an Earth shattering statement still resonating around the B, Kevin “El Salvador” Durant has rejected his Supersonics contract offer and decided to return to college to finish out his final three years of eligibility. Not only is he spurning the Sonics, “Durex” Durant is also giving the boot to his former college, the University of Texas at Amsterdam upon Colorado, and will finish out his college career at the B.


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BearMeat Chauffeurs will wait hand on foot for "El Salvador"


In equally Earth shattering news, the NCAA governing body has approved all of these circumstances based on nothing but sympathy for the B’s men's basketball program. An anonymous source within the NCAA claims, “I saw tears. I saw bibles. I saw a skinny 6’10” young man with a crown of thorns. It truly was a miracle…or an alien. Come to think of it, he did have really long arms”

Apparently the idea of a Spurs coach coming to the Sonics and imparting cheap tactics and a boring style of basketball was the deciding factor. Durant will sit out the upcoming season at the B due to the NCAA transfer requirements and will focus on academics and rebuilding downtown Waco. The B has already redesigned their home 2008-2009 jerseys and will begin selling the Durant jersey once pen is put to paper.


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Scott Drew, "There is a Lord."

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4 Comments:

  • I knew he had a soft spot in his heart for the B. His performance against the Green&Gold last year was less than spectacular. Must have read up on us on these here BearMeats.

    I imagine that Durant's presence will guarantee one more conference home win, and may just be enough to finally get a conference road win.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 2:20 PM  

  • We had a freshman McDonald's All-American on our roster last season also. No really, we did.

    By Blogger Judge Baylor, at 12:24 AM  

  • Surely you jest, good Judge.

    By Blogger Pat Neffistopheles, at 7:45 AM  

  • Apologies as this may be common knowledge to bearmeat consumers... please edify me as to the reference to "The University of Texas at Amsterdam upon Colorado." I 'd hate to miss out on a reference to the shorthorns. Thanks.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:58 PM  

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