Sunday, July 08, 2007

Baylor Signs Two White Castle All-Americans

On the heels of signing Baylor's first McDonald's All American in 2006 (Tweety Carter, Esquire), Scott Drew has landed two White Castle All Americans for the 2007 recruiting class. The McDonald's team is formed by "a selection committee of prominent high school coaches, prep scouts and media from across the country choose the nation’s top graduating high school boys and girls basketball players from a pool of approximately 2,500 seniors", which is very similar to White Castle's team that is chosen by store managers from around the country who evaluate their high school workforce. The manager's selection criteria ranges from the ability to endure the grease burns to the occasional wound from an armed robbery. White Castle would like to remind our readers they created "the first mass-produced paper hat".

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Members of the first White Castle All American
Team at the awards gala.


In related local news Heath Camp has announced plans to annually select a Health Camp All American team from area high schools. Grill master and manging partner Sammy A Citrano III's press release emphasized Health Camp's commitment to excellence and fat. "For far too long the importance of a diet high in fat and milkshake has been overlooked. Health Camp All Americans will prove that to be a elite Division One athlete one does not need to eat vegetables." Scott Drew is reported to have his eye on several potential Health Camp All Americans.

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Baylor point guard of the future?

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6 Comments:

  • That was gold.

    The Health Camp All-Americans are quite a rowdy bunch. I imagine them to be nostalgic for the free-wheeling Bliss Era.

    What of the Vitek's All-Americans? A few of them received their award posthumously.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 3:02 PM  

  • I had a roommate last year who was nominated to Ma and Pa's "You kill it we grill it" All Star Team.

    The number of the B's top scouts in attendance was alarming.

    By Blogger BDP, at 7:08 PM  

  • BDP:

    We long for the day that we can bring a live Aggie into Papa B and have him grilled alive, just like we did in '04. Wrongful death suits notwithstanding, that was the finest day in BearMeat's illustrious history.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 8:22 AM  

  • Apologies as this may be common knowledge to bearmeat consumers... please edify me as to the reference to "The University of Texas at Amsterdam upon Colorado." I 'd hate to miss out on a reference to the shorthorns. Thanks.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:11 PM  

  • Dear Anon 1:11,

    I don't want to put words into the Gov's mouth, but here's my stab at it:

    "University of Texas" - self explanatory

    "at Amsterdam" - reference to the drug culture of UT and Austin, or just the lax attitude towards pot in general

    "upon Colorado" - reference to the Colorado River, aka "Town Lake," which runs through Austin

    Like "Harvard-on-the-Brazos" in reference to Baylor, Sam Houston State or A&M, this is a comical way to lampoon a school.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 4:36 PM  

  • I'm glad I didn't answer that one. I thought it was a reference to Leonardo DiCaprio's character in Gangs of New York and the assimilation of the American immigrant.

    By Blogger Judge Baylor, at 5:16 PM  

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