Wednesday, June 20, 2007

BearMeat UnSalutes: Greg!

For every seven Leighton Radtkes in this world, there is a Greg.

[UPDATE: It is with deepest regrets to let you dearest readers know that the YouTube clips of the great Leighton Radtke have been set to private by the creators of Radtke's adventures in drunkeness. If you missed these clips...you have not yet met a prouder Baylor Bear. Sic 'em Bears. Lucky Charms. In memoriam. R.I.P. Leighton Radtke.]

As mentioned before, BearMeat is always on the lookout for that special someone who exudes, no, rather bleeds Green & Gold. I'm thinking along the lines of those freakish Gatorade commercials. I want a chiseled body sweating lemon and lime flavored Gatorade while playing basketball, volleyball, or pounding dollar Mickeys at Scruffy Murphy's on a Sunday night.


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Just another Sunday night at Scruffs for Red Andrews.

But sometimes we find the opposite. Meet Greg. Greg of www.humans.com. He's young. He's fresh. He's got a BMW 330i. He's also now public property!


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"Common Grounds is so poor, broseph"

[UPDATE 2: Greg requested that his photo be sheltered from the readers of this site. So instead you must travel here to see Gregger the Gregorian. It's probably not worth the visit though. So instead...here's another lolcat!!]

(The following comments are some juicy nuggets from his website. Actually, his site seems and looks quite old, and judging by his message board, I am assuming Greg dropped out of humans.com like he did Baylor.)


Greg! BearMeat...


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Greg on Waco: Waco, Texas is ghetto. Very ghetto.

Greg on Baylor: There is no personality at this school + I had more intellectually stimulating conversation in high school.

Greg on Baylor girls: Contrary to popular belief, the majority of the girls at this school are not attractive. That, or they're Baptist, which speaks for itself.

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Greg on religion: My friend Nate, who lives in my dorm, felt I was lost, so he had me speak to the pastor of the most popular church in Waco, Highland Baptist....He could hardly answer any of my questions and told me things like, "Dogs and cats don't have souls. They don't go to Heaven or experience an afterlife." And, "All religions except Christianity lead to Hell." I sarcastically responded with, "Well it sounds to me like all the interesting people like Einstein and Nietzsche go to Hell, so maybe I'd rather be there anyway!"


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Maybe Greg should have met up with the Preacher on staff at the Alico.


Greg on his future: I need out of this place before I start having convulsions. I thought Baylor was going to be very different. My plans for next year are to go to either SMU in Dallas or UT in Austin.

Greg on Waco statistics: Crime rates more than twice that of national average.
19th poorest city in US.
Most churches per square mile in the nation.
Ironic eh?

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Greg apparently got a C+ in his freshman year photoshop class with this zinger.


Greg on being poor: I still feel bad in a lot of ways about transferring to SMU though. One of the reasons my parents bought me my nice 330i was because I got a $28,000 scholarship to Baylor.

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Greg's mother is pleased with the size of her son's trunk.


Thanks for leaving Waco, Greg. BearMeat would have hated to dress you up as an alley cat and hand you over to the baseball team. Enjoy Dallas!


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6 Comments:

  • Ahh, the SMU snob. I know the type well. Well let me do a little comparison for my man Greg to set the record straight:

    Priscilla Owen > Harriet Miers

    Waco > Highland Park

    Dave Bliss, BU > Dave Bliss, SMU

    That last one maybe I'm not so sure about.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 4:31 AM  

  • Wow! Officially unsaluted from Baylor! I'm flattered! No, honored, really. I just happened to coincidentally update my page and found you linking to me. Funny quotes, indeed, though I would appreciate if you removed my picture.

    -Greg

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:41 PM  

  • Unsaluted from Baylor...no.
    Unsaluted from BearMeat...yes.

    A big difference indeed. Why in fact, just yesterday we unsaluted our tequila serving Intern, Rosa Janczyk, for salting our drinks. That Jezebel. And that damn nagging fruit fly. The squeaky recliner. The ice-maker. You get the picture.

    Picture removed. Salud.

    By Blogger Pat Neffistopheles, at 2:32 PM  

  • Wow. Mr. "I have a website where I post pictures of myself and my opinions" wanted us to take his photo down. I smell a Francis Beckwith in the making. Perhaps he will re-convert to Catholicism soon.

    I hate to resort to name calling: but that dude should merit our first annual BearPussy Award.

    Bitch.

    By Blogger Mrs. Kokernot, at 3:20 PM  

  • This was exceptionally hilarious...

    Can I get a sic 'em?

    By Blogger Peter Bean, at 3:40 PM  

  • Thanks, PB. Believe it or not, you are our target demographic. We just need to get us some advertisers that won't mind the mildly racist content on this site . . .

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 5:37 PM  

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