Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Around the Quad: We're 85!

[Dearest Readers,

Not a day goes by that I don't think about your well-being. All seventeen of you are so dear to my heart. Today, I bring news from these internets (Al Gore, Founder) to show my love. Do not think that I would ever abandon you - in the same way that the "Good" Judge has. With that, we bring you news from around the Burleson Quadrangle.


Red Andrews
Lover, Fighter, Felon]

1. ESPN's Top Moments that Defined College Football, #85: Kevin Steele Refuses To Take a Knee. Thanks to ESPN.com for dropping yet another Baylor sports embarassment upon all of fandom. Our first decade in the Big12 sure was ugly. Thanks largely to a president who wanted to emulate Notre Dame in every way except athletics. Seems the criteria for hiring coaches back then was their "faith journey" not their "coaching abilities." The nadir of that period surely was the 2002-2003 school year. Steele and Bliss left behind programs in disarray, with a fanbase that has grown depressingly demoralized or insanely optimistic.

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Going Down With The Ship

2. Sportswriters Lack Confidence in Baylor's Upcoming Football Season. A writer at the SportingNews says that he wants to give GuyMo a copy of the "Serenity Prayer" for the upcoming season. That's not a bad idea. In fact, that ought to be the creed of Baylor athletics. We present the prayer in its full text so that you can see just how well it applies to our beloved Bears.

The Bear's Prayer

God, grant me the Serenity

to accept the things I can not change,

Courage to change the things I can,

and Wisdom to know the difference.

3. Introducing: The Meaty Tidbits Hotline! Have you ever wanted to share a secret or important information with the public, but didn't know what the appropriate channel for such a disclosure was? Of course you have. Now, with the BearMeat Meaty Tidbits Hotline, you can share breaking news, insider information, gossip, rumors, and President Lilley nap sightings with the benefit of anonymity. Just email Meaty.Tidbits@gmail.com and the newly-created BearMeat Bureau of Discreet Information will receive, research, verify and process the Meaty Tidbit into a digestible news story. Its passing the liability on to BearMeat, with no risk to yourself. We have our most senior intern, Gunder Thorson, overseeing this Bureau, so you can trust that its in good hands. In case you are wondering what purpose this will serve, we're hoping to compete with Waco's other entertainment gossip blogs out there, who have shored up all the high-end advertisers.

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Email Us So We Can Update the John Lilley Nap Watch

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  • Then there's the Kevin Steele Serenity Prayer:

    God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to kneel on the damn ball next time instead of running up the score at home against a non-conference opponent.

    By Blogger Curtis, at 12:09 PM  

  • Memo to Dienhart:

    Why don’t you update your jokes to pick on a team that actually, I don’t know, finished last in their conference last year? Baylor won three conference games last year, which doesn’t make the Bears the Texas version of Notre Dame or anything, but it’s a certain level of mediocrity. It’s also progress. Baylor has managed to avoid the absolute depths of double digit loss seasons, only losing 10 games once since joining the Big 12. Which makes us even with the Washington team you praise and the Kansas team you root for, who both lost 10 games more recently than Baylor.

    Go pick on a team that actually lost 10 games. Like Colorado, the actual last place team in the Big 12 (and one that is riding a two game losing streak to the mighty B). Or Illinois. Or Stanford. Or Duke. Especially Duke.

    No one is saying Baylor is going to a bowl, but there are three games on the schedule in which Baylor will certainly be favored, and another three games against teams the Bears actually beat last year. So why don’t you go pick on a team that looks at Baylor’s modest success with envy (like Duke and their five 10-loss seasons in the past ten years)? Because you can take your Serenity Prayer (a.k.a. The Sporting News business plan) and stick it up your apse.

    Yes, that was a cathedral joke.

    By Blogger Poseur, at 12:28 PM  

  • Curtis:

    That comment was hilarious. I'm getting that tatooed on my manservant's back immediately.


    Seems that dude hit a nerve with you. We can use an angry man like you around the ALICO.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 7:07 PM  

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