Monday, March 26, 2007

Around the Quad: Baylor Potpouri

The BearMeat Editorial Board just got back from a weekend trip into BuseyCountry. That's right, Stillwater, Oklahoma, home of Oklahoma A&M, aka OSU. In the following week three accounts of the lost weekend will surface on these BearMeats, and our readers will have to parse out the truth from the three versions, like Rashomon or The Sound and The Fury. In the meantime, while you await our trio of stream-of-consciousness short stories, we present news from Around the Quad.

1. Michael Johnson: Beer Spokesman. Did anyone else see the Coors Light Fastest Man in the World ads yesterday? We did. Someone at Coors must think its still 1996. Anyway, its always nice to see a Baylor alum representing The B, no matter what type of publicity it is, and regardless of what particular brand of right-wing sh*twater they are selling. From the article:

Summary: Coors Light presents the Worlds Fastest Man - Michael Johnson. On a hot summer evening, Michael makes his way through his neighborhood to his local bar. Michael holds the worlds 200 and 400 meter records and manages to make his way through the neighborhood faster than people can realize. After moving this quickly, the worlds fastest man orders the worlds most refreshing beer, frost-brewed Coors Light to quench his thirst.

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Coors Light: Breakfast of Champions

2. Colonial Hoops, New Oso Amigo.
Our freak sojourn into BuseyCountry yielded a random encounter with a fellow blogger who runs a George Washington University basketball blog, Colonial Hoops. His insights on the rampant Karl Hobbs speculation will leave you breathless. Welcome aboard, Big George!

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GW Hoops: "Don't Confuse Us With Georgetown, The More Successful George-school in D.C."

3. Tourney Update.
The Good Judge's Bracket is still ahead in the Burnt Orange Nation pool, but has little chance of finishing first. The Good Judge has proved to those brutish ShortHorns that even though all we know is losing, BearMeat understands hoops. Also, it was nice to see Trailer Mulk & Big Paris miss out on going to the Final Four. Similarly, all of our regular season "rivals" (UT, A&M, OU, Tech, K-State) have gone down in flames. Sic 'em!

4. Vinnie "The Microwave" Johnson. Outside of Brian Skinner, the single most successful baller from the B was Vinnie Johnson who could light up faster than a Waco crackhead, when called upon by Chuck Daly. This 9min Youtube clip will show how he earned his nickname, should you care. And speaking of NBA basketball, if you have time, check out the Wizznutzz new Kurt Rambis t-shirt. Gold.

5. Drew Shores Up the Mamadou Market. Thanks to John Werner, the Boy Wonder to Jerry Hill's Batman, of the Bear Blog, for sharing with us the ultra-BearMeat occurence of two Mamadous enjoying a Baylor baseball game together. Stoneridge Prep's Mamadou Diarra is being heavily recruited by uber-recruiter Scott Drew. It is the same high school attended by Penny Thiam, which must be some sort of Senegalese pipeline. Regardless, as long as they keep Baylor ankle-deep in Mamdous, we will never question whether they are soft on immigration or not. Also, the following quote is from Red Andrews' Big Book of Baylor Sports Jokes:

Two Mamadous walk into a bar and the bartender asks, “What can I get for you fellas?” The first Mamadou replies: “A chaste Baylor co-ed to bring back to my homeland as my Queen.” The bartender says: “Sorry, can’t help you there. How about you, other Mamadou?” The second Mamadou says: “I’ll have what my friend is having.”

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  • Thanks for the shout-out gentlemen

    By Anonymous Andrew from ColonialHoops, at 10:58 AM  

  • Stoneridge High, your suspected Senegalese pipeline, is in Tarzana. Did the last Earl of Greystoke play hoops?

    By Anonymous Loomisboy, Homeless Son of Sam Brooks, at 11:52 AM  

  • Andy from Colonial,

    You are our East Coast contact. Keep in touch. We may need a favor from you when DC finally gets some congressional representation.

    Homeless Loomis,

    Tarzan played there briefly, before transferring to Senegal. It was part of a Mamadou for English Aristocrat student exchange program. Thus, a legend was born, on both sides of the Atlantic.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 12:59 PM  

  • I accept your honor. I am feeling very welcomed to the neighborhood.

    By Blogger r, at 1:29 PM  

  • r,

    Welcome aboard the BearMeat Express! While we already have one "aggie friend" we are pleased to have another. However, we are sworn enemies of TAMU & Beisbol, which spoke ill of us on, even after we helped him with his adult literacy homework. Regardless, your blog is badass and we'll be sure to give you a shoutout in an upcoming post. Good day and God bless.

    Sic 'em,


    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 1:46 PM  

  • I was too swashed to notice yesterday, but I finally took time to be offended by your "$#|+w@+er" comment regarding Sir Michael's latest employer. In MY day, we had to drive to Hillsboro to buy said $#|+w@+er, and we were glad to do so. I think it had something to do with the ice melting in the truck if they traveled any farther. Or perhaps it was that confounded anti-booze aura that radiates from the Neff Dome.

    By Anonymous Loomisboy, Homeless Son of Sam Brooks, at 10:21 PM  

  • As a DC resident and a college hoops fan I have seen my share of Carl Hobbs. Actually, I am a season ticket holder (at $3 a game how can you not be). I must say this guy is a freak on the sideline. He spends so much time jumping up and down, stomping his feet, and looking away in disgust that he misses 1/2 the game. His teams have no discipline on defense and no clue on offense. Given all of that, somehow he wins games and ends up on the short list of a programs looking to change of direction. I don't get it.

    By Blogger r, at 7:13 AM  

  • r,

    Wow, a DC resident blogging the Ags! Hobbs is an honorable man,


    You are now an official BearMeat groupie. Live it. Love it. The Coors reference was due to a rumor we heard up in Oklahoma that Coors buys treated sewage water in Colorado to cut down on water costs when making their beer. For what its worth . . .


    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 10:40 AM  

  • Red - definitely! Don't hold your breath for a vote in Congress, though the other day a TX rep did say that DC didn't need one since DC already has 435 reps. So I'm going to call him about some uncollected garbage outside my house.

    r - good to see another season ticket holder! it's so cheap. I think Hobbs is a good recruiter and sometimes a good coach. When the offense is humming and the D is trapping and getting steals and scoring, it's amazing. Sometimes it's extremely frustrating and all they do is pass around the perimeter. And then there's the Vandy game.

    SOrry to hijack the thread, it's not often I hear about other GW season ticket holders. Now i'm going to look for syringe-shaped jello shots

    By Anonymous andrew from colonialhoops, at 12:55 AM  

  • Andrew,

    We have the comments for just such thread highjackings. Actually the only inappropriate threads on BearMeat are those which discuss the Xs and Os of BU sports. There is no place for actual Baylor analysis on this blog, so feel free to spout whatever else is on your mind.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 11:12 AM  

  • Back when I was in college (UT, class of '90), my activist friends pleaded with me to boycott Coors because of the Coors family's politics. I said, "No problem, I was already boycotting Coors ... because it's the foulest-tasting liquid I have ever had the misfortune of putting in my mouth." Seriously, I could force myself to drink Milwaukee's Best, Schaefer, whatever ... but Coors is the only beer so awful that it forced me to leave a party. Michael Johnson is one of my heroes – how heartbreaking to see him hawking such nasty beer.

    By Blogger Lee, at 12:50 PM  

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