Waco We Do Pimp Patent Theft, Craigslist Edition
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2007-01-28, 2:56PM CST
Looking for Cindy Caldwell her last known address is El Paso, TX and Stephanie Light, her last known address is Worms, Germany. But sources tell me they relocated to Texas. Cindy Caldwell has a younger brother name Jimmy. Stephanie Light has two older sisters name Laura and Sarah. I need to subpoena them to court for stealing intellectual properties. Cindy and Stephanie are now in their early 40's they were strippers and heavy cocaine users in their early twenties. Apparantly their pimps got them involved to steal my copyrights and patents. How do I know these hookers? Went to high school with them. $10,000 reward for thier whereabouts.
I love the whole "pimp orchestrated patent theft" theory and the fact that the crime was most likely committed over 20 years ago. Wonder what his intellectual property was? Was it a microchip or the cell phone? Is there some former pimp out there that is now the majority shareholder and CEO of some Fortune 500 tech corporation? Why did it take this guy 20 years to follow up on this theft? Did he just now wake up from a two-decade drug-addled haze and speak with an attorney? I swear, that craigslist post could be made into a movie, or, better yet, a sitcom. The perfect pitch of the absurdity is Waco to the core. We call on all BearMeat readers to give their interpretation of the sequence of events that spawned this post. What of the litigation? Are there deep pockets involved? Did the pimps sell the patents to a corporation? Please give us your best educated guess.
For some reason this story strikes as both a From Malibu to Waco type of story and a Osler's Razor type of story. If you haven't already, check out the good professor's ongoing Baylor History Project, which we believe to be an elaborate tribute to BearMeat. In the spirit of this craigslist post, we present the opposing narrative, the Waco We Do campaign's television commercial.