Thursday, February 22, 2007

Around the Quad: The Home Stretch

A night of triumph for our Bears is always welcome news and cause for pouring out of libations in the ALICO building. Having personally witnessed a major upset over the powerful Huskers, the BearMeat Editorial Board quickly opened a tab at George's and bought a round for the whole bar. This morning has been a hazy one, but we are coming to our senses and plan on a full day of coverage of all the many stories around the B. Here are a few meaty tidbits for your edification.

1. Gentlemen Bears Topple Nebraska. The International Three-Point Carnival was in fine form last night, shooting the lights out (11-22 from beyond the arc) and containing the Huskers. Tweety and Dugat stepped up and had us dreaming of the potential of next season and perhaps even a road win this year. Our hobo snatched the chicken bone from the cold, dead hands of Big Red. BearMeat now formally demands the head of Doc Sadler. It is legally ours and we demand that the Regents of the University of Nebraska remove the head and hand it over to BearMeat interns. Doc's famous last words after last night's defeat:

"If we are that weak-minded I don't know if we belong in the NCAA tournament. We're in a position with five games left to make it to the NCAA tournament."

Now the task before the Gentlemen Bears is to win at least one road game, against Texas Tech or the Agriculturalists, so we can end the Scott Drew Three Year Road Losing Streak. We plan round-the-clock coverage of this streak, which seems to us a residual curse from the Bliss Era.

2. LadyBears Feast on BuffaloMeat. The LadyBears kept it real last night against the Godless LadyBuffs of Colorado, for whom we have no respect. Colorado is nothing but a marijuana-toking, atheistic, snowboarding secular haven for liberal elites, mountain hermits, and Texan exiles. That having been said, BMo and Tizzy, aka "Da Captain" and "A&T", led the way with Tizzy dropping 4 3-balls on the Buffettes. Mulk even waxed sentimental in her post-game comments, as the LadyBears gear up for rematches with OU and the LadyAgs:

"How could you not be proud of them? If you win three games, you're conference champions. I'm pretty brutally honest; but, there's no way I could have told you that when the season started. I'm pretty proud of them. Not satisfied, but proud."

The games against A&M and OU, both ranked higher than the Bears, are must wins if we are to entertain the notion of winning the Big12 and contending for the title this year. It starts with the White Out game against A&M on Sunday. Sic 'Em!

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Mulk: Cry The Beloved Trophy

3. GuyMo Coaching Staff Defections Continue. GuyMo is losing significant coaching staff faster than you can say "rebuilding year." Bill Bradley, not the former senator, has left his position as BU Defensive Coordinator for a position under Norv Turner with the San Diego Chargers. This follows on the heels of Wes Phillips following his dad to the Cowboys and recruiting coordinator McGriff, who is headed to Miami (from the B to the U). What does this all mean for our Bears? Look for next year to be the most disappointing year in the GuyMo Era. What's next? Lee "Desperado" Hays leaving for the NFL? These defections do not bode well for GuyMo. BearMeat is saddened by these events and plan a six-month period of mourning. Prove us wrong, GuyMo. Prove us wrong.

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GuyMo & Co: What Sorrows May Come?

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