Saturday, February 24, 2007

AgricMeat: Live Bloggin'...Q&A with Pat and Judge!

Pat Neffistopheles: Welcome folks. I got the wood burning stove fired up. Now we can watch cable and post BearMeat jerky for you to chew on. It's halftime so let's get this Q&A started. Hello Judge, tell me your state of mind after this first half. How do the Gentlemen Bears make you feel right now? Strengths? Weaknesses? Tingle in the crotch? Acie Law penis envy? Joe Jones' head? It's like an upright watermelon, right?

Judge Baylor: In order they were presented: ennui, so far Lomers and Shepherd have played hard and our guards have surprisingly taken the ball to the hole, free throw shooting, more of an itch, Law is a gamer, Jones' head is bigger than any watermelon I've seen.

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Gig 'em, Joseph Jones!

PN: Yeah, I agree. It's more of a watermelon/spaghetti squash hybrid. Judge, tell me. When we win the Big XII tournament what seed will Baylor get in the Big Dance? What do you think Red is up to right now? Apparently he had a long night with our new "alternative" Intern last night. Red told her he photographs for the Suicide Girls on the side.

JB: I'm guessing we couldn't get higher than a 15th seed or they would make us do the play-in game of 64 vs 65. Red is currently organizing his D&D Club's first Six Flags road trip. Either that or he is playing with his Civil War action figures.

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Sic 'em, Josh Lomers!

PN: According to the ESPN+ commentator the Bears look like one of the best teams in the country if you take the Baylor name off the jersey. What do you think he is high on? Didn't see Rick Perry. Is he giving an Agric yell leader that good ol' Loius Armstrong underneath the bleachers? Does he have HPV?

JB: He's probably been drinking some of your gummi berry juice, aka Dr. Pepper with a dash of Agent Orange. I am sure Perry is too busy governing the state to go to college basketball games. Don't you have to have sex to get a STD?

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We may be mean and dispirited, but we still believe!

PN: Ok, we gotta go for now. We'll be back after the game for little more discussion. 12 point lead now for the Agrics with 12:39 left. The Judge is now depressed and despondent. Expect a scathing comment on the G-Bears and Coach "Down Syndrome" Drew if we keep missing our free throws and lose by double digits. The Sonic guy rejecting the tater tot has more talent than our front court.

Sic 'em Bears!

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  • Fellow Editors,

    I'm here! Looks like our Gentlemen Bears are going down. I'm surprised how well the Ags resisted the offensive onslaught of our two 7-footers. The intern I "hooked up with" last night is currently unconscious; what would Pat do in this situation?

    Also, how do you get down from the top of the ALICO sign? I'm not sure how I got up here (with a laptop, no less), but I sure as hell have no idea how to get down.



    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 3:05 PM  

  • Dear Editor Andrews,

    At the first sign of the Moon, slide down the C in the ALICO sign. You should gain enough momentum to propel yourself off the building into the night sky. Reach out with your fate and grab hold of the bottom corner of the Moon.

    Please remember to leave the hookah behind. At this point it is only a hindrance.

    God bless you, dear Sir.


    By Blogger Pat Neffistopheles, at 4:17 PM  

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