Sunday, January 14, 2007

Knight Cometh: The Gentlemen Bears Victorious

[A post just for our dear blogging professor]

While the Lady Bears suffer to the Ags . . .

The BearMeat Editorial Board hosted a "Take Your Illegitimate Daughter to the Game" Party for the Tech v. BU game on Saturday, which went very well. Apparently, when Baylor wins, it has a calming effect on their deviance. To see a coaching legend, like Mr. Knight, come into the Will Ferrell Center and suffer humiliation at the hands of a basketball team that looks like it was assembled by Angelina Jolie and taught to play by Robert Horry almost brought a collective tear to our eye. To see such frailty in the coaching ranks brought down by the youthful, insurgent Scott Drew reminded us that even Caesar himself was not immortal, but was slain by younger, ambitious men.

Brutus: An Honorable Man? Discuss.

Yes, this victory portends great things for our program, but more than that signals the end of Knight's Reign of Terror. No longer will he slap players, heave chairs, and chew out refs with impunity; no, the Dark Knight is ready to be put out to pasture (not to stud, however - perish the thought . . . and offspring). Perhaps a rest home for cantankerous coaching legends is in order.

Pat's Daughters, Chastity and Prudence,
Take a Break After Sunday School


Yet as we drove back in the BearMeat MeatWagon (our bus on loan from the McLennan County Jail) with our sedated daughters, we tuned in to the Lady Bears v Ags game on the radio only to find that the Mulkites were losing in the final minutes to the farm girls of A&M. Can we never enjoy but one game? Memories of a few days prior came flooding back, when our editors journeyed to the Will Ferrell Center on Wednesday to watch the Paris Twins decimate our defenses with their particular brand of Obeseketball - we left crestfallen, with little to console us. The fact is that in women's basketball, girth is an unstoppable strategy. Damn those twins!


Only a Sex-Change Away . . .
From the B's Starting Front Court Next Season


[Errata: Thank you "Scamp" for pointing out that our last post incorrectly identified Tisdale as being a "senior" when she is actually a junior. However, what we meant to convey when we said that she exhibited "senior leadership" was that she takes a lot of Centrum Silver, is an AARP member, and watches tons of Matlock reruns.

Gratitude: 12th ManChild's thoughts on the Bush Library going to SMU calmed our rage some, but we hoped that our schools could at least share a presidential library in common with the same name. Perhaps Bush II's desire to distinguish himself from his father prompted the SMU choice as well, as sharing a river was too close for comfort.]

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1 Comments:

  • Um, I'm pretty sure it isn't the "Will Ferrell Center." According to the Baylor web site, it is officially called the "Feral Center," and is "dedicated to the memory of those feral animals who have so enriched our lives and the life of this great university."

    By Blogger Mark Osler, at 9:40 AM  

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