Wednesday, January 31, 2007

America’s Team Held Hostage: DAY 1

Jerry Jones has descended into the Valley Ranch compound and refuses to negotiate further, despite the gathering crowd pleading with him to discuss his precarious situation. He has not expressly shown his arsenal, but our intelligence reports suggests that he is armed with an outdated, but still potentially lethal weapon, a certain Norv Turner. Yes, the same Norv Turner who devastated indigenous people across the Eastern seaboard for seven long seasons. Details remain sketchy, but it is clear we are dealing with a megalomaniac who is incapable of relinquishing any power.

Before cutting off communication, in a moment of rare lucidity, Jones discussed his future with top negotiator, Mike Singletary, “The Minister of Defense”. The Minster, insisted it would be all right, if he would just listen to reason. It seemed for a moment Jones understood and began to nod in agreement. However, abruptly and without provocation, he yelled, “That’s my potato, you can’t have it.” The Nation remains captivated by this stalemate. At this point we must put our faith in the Minister’s ability to deal with a madman. Many fear bloodshed is inevitable. We remain hopeful that this will not end in tragedy.

Does this man look sane to you?

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  • I hate to say that this may be the appropriate time to rescind the moratorium on Branch Davidian jokes. What say you, Judge? Governor Pat?

    I for one will abstain, but this post and the horror of that day 11 years ago seems to similar to let a treasure trove of jokes slip away.

    Sic 'em.


    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 2:29 PM  

  • Is it too soon? It seems that the time period between tragedy and jokes has shortened over the years, but that one may still be off limits. Unless of course, you have a really funny one in mind. But in any event, I reserve the right to call you sick and twisted if it isn’t good or at the very least quietly judge you.

    By Blogger Judge Baylor, at 6:29 PM  

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