Thursday, December 07, 2006

GameCockMeat: Show 'em Your Oh-Face, K-Rodge

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The slumbering beast that is Baylor men's basketball will rise from it's posh lair filled with golden creampuffs, chocolate rivers, peppermint paved streets, carmel coated Bearkats and Bobcats, slow churned vanilla bean snowflakes, and a replica of the Petronas Twin Towers made entirely out of rum balls to battle the spirited and colorful Gamecocks from South Carolina. I will try to rise above making jokes and crass comments about their nickname and associated history with said nickname. But that's like telling Cap'n Crunch to keep his grubby little hands off his Able Seamen. It's hard.

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First and foremost, as I have mentioned here before, good for you, Baylor, for scheduling some tougher games. This is not football. Teams are actually rewarded for playing quality games. Also, Baylor will need these games for preparation. The B's first conference game this season will be at Stillwater with a second Big XII game 3 days later against the Agrics, so it's pretty obvious that these next two games (the second game being at Syracuse) will help to prepare the boys for some rough waters ahead.

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I honestly can't tell you which one of these dudes is Eddie Sutton

Let's look at some 'Cock facts. These fellas are back to back NIT Champions, a feat that has been unaccomplished for over 60 years. Their coach is the sprightly Dave Odom, a coach that I have liked since his Wake Forest days. My second fave southern baptist institution. USC is coming off an alright start to the season so far. They have a good win with an OT victory at the west coast USC, but lost a recent game big to their heated rival Clemson. Blah, blah, blah, blah...to hell with analysis; it's not my forte. Time to concern myself with a topic near and dear to me.

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Cockfighting! Hell yeah! Alas, I am stuck in one of the 48 states that outlaws this historically undervalued blood sport. Fortunately though, my state is sandwiched between two lovers of all that is cockfightin': New Mexico and Louisiana. Every Friday afternoon I load up my Subaru BRAT with my fiercest Gallitos and head out to the bright lights of Lousiana or to the dimming skyline of New Mexico. I can't think of anything better in life than lounging on the AstroTurf of my BRAT with nothing but frosty cold Olympias and the symphonic sounds of cockspurs ringing out in the night's air...Swordsmanship of the South.

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"Pat Neffistopheles with 'Gentle' Ben Becker" acrylic on canvas

As a true Baylor Bear, I have named my fiercest fighter "Gentle" Ben Becker...a misnomer, indeed. However, like his namesake, Gentle Ben can overhead smash an opponent with his cockspur, splaying bones and brains across the arena while doubling the size of a gambling hobo's bindle. To the downtrodden, Gentle Ben is simply known as "The Infant of Prague."

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L'Enfant de Prague?

In conclusion, sic 'em Bears.

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1 Comments:

  • game cocks tee-hee

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:18 AM  

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