Tuesday, December 19, 2006

BuffaloMeat: aka Szymanski Fodder

Well I decided that since I have been surfing the web for, let's say, 6.5 hours straight today that I should finally visit the Bears cstv.com website. I wanted to visit the site earlier, but, FUCK!, it really annoys me for some reason. Ok a lot of reasons. First, the coloring is really, really horrible. The different variances of green is all over the place. CSTV goes from deep, brooding "gangsta" green all the way to silly, wacky "I've been in hibernation since the Denver Nuggets jersey from the '80s" green.

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Second, the banner is pretty weak. And by "pretty" weak I mean "Winnie-the-Pooh is pantless and has no balls" weak. At the center of the banner is the top of a semi-illuminated Pat Neffistopheles tower, of course lit up in our fourth tier away color: aqua marine. To the left is a cutting edge font giving Baylor the teeth and cahonies it lost after the A&M game. And to the far right is Bruiser preparing to take a swan dive out of the Baylor Line and hopefully onto some poor TCU waterschmuck.

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All this makes the traditional BU logo look almost tarnished. Thanks CSTV. You suck. However, please keep the All-Access live streams available. We don't get much live video often.

Oh yeah, at least we don't have a front page image of our mascots/cheerleading squad. Could it actually be true that if you wished for something so hard you would eventually get it? I bet these, uhhhh, ladies?, wanted to attend SMU and cheer for the Mustangs their whole lives. And now they resemble what they have been cheering for so wholeheartedly: hardy, feral horses.

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Anyway, I intended to write this post about Baylor's upcoming 2007 football schedule. Let's take a gander at our 4 mighty non-conference games:

at TCU, RICE, TEXAS STATE, at BUFFALO

One of these teams is not like the other. Sadly, I've been to Buffalo. The town and their industries located on their shit brown water suck. And apparently Buffalo football sucks. They remind me of our Steele and Roberts days. I like to call those my "Mescaline Drinking Days." Back to the non-con schedule, the B should win 3 of those. If we lose to Rice next year, then GuyMo will need to be reassessed.

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My "Mescaline Drinking Days" were not all gloom & glum!

We then begin our conference schedule at A&M, play the same three Big XII North teams as this year, and end at home against OKState. Pretty boring if you ask me. Soon we'll take a look at the 2008 - 2015 schedule. I imagine by 2015 we will have robotic football players. I think that was what Robert Sloan wanted. Right? Sic 'em.

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Baylor University Golden Wave Marching Band in the Year 2015


P.S. Props to Burnt Orange Nation for nominating BearMeat for "The Sports Fans Don't Cry Award." If they had a "Largest Livers" award, we could win it with our thumbs up our butts. I hate bragging, but it feels so good. Not the enlarged liver; the thumb thingy. Thanks, BON!

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2 Comments:

  • Hang in there, BearMeat! Kim Mulkey's team will be back on the court soon: North Carolina A&T 12/28 4 p.m.

    And Big 12 play is just a turn of the calendar page away: Texas Tech 01/03/07 7 p.m.

    Happy holidays!

    By Anonymous Scamp, at 7:52 AM  

  • Thanks, scamp! I would like to say congrats to the men's team for slaying another SWAC opponent, but that would be like giving your teenage kid a cookie for taking a poopie all by himself.

    Mulkey on the other hand has the ladies right on target for a Big XII championship and hopeful run to the Final Four.

    Don't forget! The 7th annual BearMeat Boxing Day Bonanza begins with 12 grapes interlaced with 12 shots of Crown Royal at Midnight tonight. Join us in spirit, if you so desire. We know your pleasures!

    By Blogger Pat Neffistopheles, at 11:45 AM  

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