Tuesday, December 05, 2006

BearKatMeat: What the Eff is a BearKat

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Take deux. The ladies are poppin' a binge again. In the immortal words of ex-Baylor baller, Jody Conradt, "these girls make me hungry!" I don't know or really care if the photo above is from last night's demolition, but once again the ladies love to hammer out the victory and start the party in front of the crowd and opposing team. I know last time I berated the showboating...but now I like it. I think it's because this picture is different. This photo portrays a close team; a touchy-feely team; an alluring team. Of course, when you got Kaitlin "Don't Call Me Hoberg" Oberg in what seems to be the foreshadowing of a delicate yet rugged relationship involving sandwiched positions, then I think we have a good thing.

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Bear like sandwich!

But enough with my conceited thoughts. Let's get down to the real business of explaining and detailing what exactly a Bearkat is. To put it frankly, it's was hard task to take on. But I'm a BearMeat guy, and a BM guy is meticulously molded and sculpted into a thorough researcher and all-around Hardy Boy. Ladies love BM; scholars worship BM. It's a good life.

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Anyway, my first lead regarding the mysterious Bearkat started at www.gobearkats.com. Immediately upon entering said site, I recoiled in terror and pain as my retinas were tattooed with a color as frightening as...as a Bearkat? If the Shorthorns' color is burnt orange, then I would have to say that the Bearkats' color is more of a putrid orange, a very...bad orange, a "eat a whole pumpkin while chugging Lone Stars with Red Bull and take a deuce on a Pi Phi's doormat" orange. Somehow I fought through that, as BM would, and came upon a little blurb in a timeline about Bearkat athletic history:

April 1, 1923 - Sam Houston State joins the Texas Intercollegiate Athletic Association (TIAA), its first intercollegiate athletics conference affiliation. During the 1923 season, Sam Houston adopts "Bearkats" as the nickname for its athletic teams. The name comes from a slogan of the time "tough as a Bearkat!" The spelling with a "k" instead of a "c" denotes a mythical creature.


Wow! Awesome! I want to be a "mythical creature!" If I had known about this years before, who knows what powers I could be wielding today. Thunderbolts! Throwing Hammers! Lizards Embedded With Firecrackers! Sticks With A Little Dog Poo On The End!

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First Known Drawing of a Bearkat, circa 705 B.C.

I was pretty much set to believe bearkats.com, until I visited my number one go-to site for information and infotainment, urbandictionary.com. This shit will blow you away. Not only did I find a definition of Bearkat; I found the meaning of Bearkatt! According to Sam Houston State logic, the extra "t" means extra mystical; therefore extra accurate! Behold:

1. Bearkatt

A large, fat, hairy, t-rex like short armed, fat jimmy dean sausage fingered, man-like teenage creature. Lives off Ranch Dressing, wears capri sweatpants, mismatched socks, wears a dirty stained jersey, and bathes up to 2 times per week.

Oh my god that is one quart of Ranch on your burger, you are fat Bearkatt.

"Dibs on the Ranch." (Bearkatt)

Stop pouring gravy up your nose Bearkatt.



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Perfect! Now this is what I envision when I think of Sam Houston State, Hunstville, TX and East Texas in general.

Oh yeah, the Bears won 117-50 against the Bearkats and set a new school record for most points scored. Rumor is that "Mulkey" is the mythical spelling for Jezebel...Tom Robbins' Jezebel that is.

Sic 'em Lady Bears.

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1 Comments:

  • With one of the critical Agrics falling to an injury I believe its us and the Okies for the Big 12 title.

    By Blogger Judge Baylor, at 7:02 PM  

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