Tuesday, November 28, 2006

CreamPuffMeat: Bears are the Class of the SWAC

During our annual Saturday Night at Sonny T's Thanksgiving Feast, the BearMeat editorial staff collectively put our fattened heads together and tried to conjure up a preview of the Alcorn State game. Unfortunately, the only idea that came up was that the word "corn" was in their name. Thanks, Judge Baylor, really helpful. But I can assure you that his mind was elsewhere as his "can o' corn" was being soothed and celebrated by Desiree, dressed up as always as a lovely Plymouth Colony Tart with a new-school g-string twist. However, our efforts were not fruitless.

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We sobered up long enough to notice that the Gentlemen Bears are on a crash course to seize the first ever Historically Black Colleges and Universities Commander in Chief's Trophy, aka the Southern World Cup. As of today, we are a commanding 2 and 0 versus the esteemed Southwestern Athletic Conference. But let's not sell the B's schedule short quite yet. We got ourselves a massive sweet tooth, and soon we will be feasting on the Ho-Hos and Zingers from the SWAC: Grambling and, eventually, Prairie View A&M.

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Our non-conference schedule is filled with a "Who's Who" list from the nether regions of the RPI poll. Grambling and Texas State, are respectively situated at 230 and 308. The two before that: Texas Southern University at 196 and Alcorn State at 320. Thankfully, our 2012 mission to play both TSU schools will be accomplished. By the way, is it just me, or did Texas Southern really come out on the raw end on that one? As C.J. would say..."Fuck da Republic!"

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Then it's a trip to the dentist, Bears. Make sure your fly is zipped up. South Carolina should be a good match-up with them coming in at 131 in the RPI poll. Then a game at Syracuse should be a real test, like our Gonzaga loss. The 'Cuse are currently sitting at 31 in the RPI and a top twenty team according to the chodes at the Associated Press. I like these games. The Bears might lose both, but it still will add some quality playing time and character growth for the young cubs on the team.

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Then we head back to the Willy Wonka buffet line and take on the aforementioned Prairie View A&M, North Carolina A&T, Delaware State and Centenary. Shit, if the B's non-conference football schedule was this weak, we might have made it to the San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl. A real bowl game, indeed.

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Anyway, I'm not asking to load the non-conference schedule with only ACC and Big Ten teams. But I do feel like the Bears could have scheduled some more quality games that would have prepared the team better for Big XII play. But really, what the hell do we know? At the BearMeat Post Thanksgiving Sunday Brunch sheltered deep within the West Bank of Poppa Rollo's Pizza, Inc., we made a consensus decision regarding this new basketball season. The Ferrell Center looks like a giant golden titty from the sky. Methinks there is no coincidence that the largest crowd at the Ferrell Center was for the Lady Bears. Sic the Swac, Gentlemen.

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  • We are playing the who's who of the bottom of the RPI chart. Can you get a negative ranking? Maybe we should put MCC on the schedule?

    By Blogger Judge Baylor, at 6:00 PM  

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