Sunday, October 22, 2006

JayHawkMeat, Part 2: Brutus is an Honorable Man

Red Andrews, a la Brutus, falling on his sword:



I have betrayed our beloved Caesar of China Spring by sounding the death knell on the only viable Heisman candidacy on the Brazos a few weeks too early. For that, I must accept my penance for such a sin: drinking the rest of the lukewarm and potentially poisonous Bosque Brewing Company Baptist Pale Ales that we have on display at the BearMeat editorial offices. Shawn Bell's 4th quarter heroism during the homecoming game was not only the most thrilling drama to be seen in Waco since the William Cowper Brann incident, but has now set The Christian Gentleman QB (his taunting of UT aside) as perhaps the greatest to ever lace-up for the B. Bell is on pace to have the game, season, and career records in most all passing categories in school history: yardage, touchdowns, completions, attempts. This is a school that has been playing pigskin since 1899.

"All I am thinking about right now is the first Homecoming win in nine years and how we need two more wins to get to a bowl game." - Shawn Bell, after the KU game


The Bears have delivered our much-awaited Homecoming victory. Thanks to Bell, Zeigler and Shelton (the usual suspects), we have, for the first time ever, won three conference games in the Big12. We are now only two games away from bowl eligibility. We haven't been at .500 this late into the season in 10 years. Get ready Aggies, cuz y'all are gonna be sticking those "Gig 'em" thumbs up your asses when Bell outshines McGee and defeats A&M for the second time in three years. C.J. is gonna put some hurting on those Ags.

AGRICULTURALISTS BEWARE: EAT, DRINK AND BE MERRY, FOR ON SATURDAY YOU DIE!




BearMeat Shoutout to GuyMo, who has taught us how to believe again. The Ghost of Steele is Vanquished: Long Live GuyMo!

BearMeat Shoutout to Lee Hays: CareBear seems to be working, so we are tentatively reverting to AirBear for the time being.

BearMeat RottenMeat Award: To all the "fans" who left the game at halftime, thinking it was over. That was your warning - this is the GuyMo era now and things are different. Let us learn to live by faith.

[Editorial Note: We apologize for the lateness of our coverage, but as you might imagine, our jubilation on Saturday evening was quite spirited. In fact, due to a minor "libations and fire" incident, we almost burned down the storied home of the BearMeat editorial offices: the 13th floor of the ALICO building. We promise to make up for it with the Aggie game.]

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2 Comments:

  • Glad to see you were just a little slow to the punch. Some of those calls in the end were enough to institutionalize the sanist of B fans and I feared your well being. (i.e. the safety called back for illegal formation, alleged pass interference, reviews of the obvious)

    By Blogger Jonathan Swanburg, at 10:26 PM  

  • Our sanity was in doubt for a while on Saturday night, but not because of the terrible calls that we have come to accept as our fate, but instead because Pat got into our "holiday ether" and threatened to jump off the suspension bridge. Needless to say, the night involved many "first responders."

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 9:29 AM  

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