Thursday, October 05, 2006

I Can't Believe It's Not BearMeat, Pointspread!

Howdy, folks! Pat Dickason here, and there's no better time to start our review of Big XII betting lines than right now...six weeks into the season...with Baylor at 2-2 against the spread...introducing: "I Can't Believe It's Not BearMeat, Pointspread!"

Let's get started. SHREEEMP! Our first game on the docket is Texas A&M (-2) at Kansas (+2) (11:00 AM CDT; FSN). Are you kidding me? No contest! I will go on the record to say that Kansas will win this game by at least 10 points. With A&M going 1-6 against the spread in its last 7 road games, I can't imagine this terrible, terrible team changing their fortune this weekend. Put your welfare checks on the Jayhawks, folks, or Mangino will eat you! Rock Chalk, Mythical Bird 31 - Agriculturalists 20!

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Our next game (2:30 PM CDT) is the Cowpokes of OK State (-2) at the Kansas State Wildcats (+2). Awesome, two teams that really blow! OSU has played a nice creampuff schedule while Kansas State is on a two game slide into Pre-Snyder existence. However, friends say that I have syphilis, so I've got my Baylor Bucks on Kansas State. 'Cats will cover the spread and then some, KSU 20 - OSU 17. Damn, I'm good!

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Next up: the Red River Shootout Rivalry Lake Texoma Pop Some Soma van der Fussball Spiel! Ahhh, what a contest (2:30 PM CDT; ABC). Leave it to Vegas to give us half points on this one. No push here, pansies! OU (+4.5) at UT (-4.5) and this is a no-brainer. Texas is 1-5 against the spread in the last 6 matches against OU. I know the 5 losses were pre-National Championship, but the Horns are back to their old habit and Greg Davis can't beat the spread without VY. Adrian Peterson will have 200+ yards and Sooner-Nation will emerge to plunder and pillage Fair Park. OU 34 - UT 27!

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Lock of the weekend!!! Baylor (+5) at Colorado (-5) (2:30 PM CDT; radio, bitches). No contest! Baylor covers the spread easily and quite possibly can win this game outright. Don't count on that though. With a cornucopia of offsides, turnovers and dropped passes Baylor will keep this a close game and lose a heartbreaker to a last second field goal. This is Wazzu, Take 2. You'll enjoy the money off this one, but you can cancel your Brut Sun Bowl trip this year. Baylor 13 - Colorado 16.

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Mizzou (+4) at Texas Tech (-4) is up next (6:00 PM CDT; TBS). Gotta go with Tech on this one. Big! Missouri lists their QB, Chase Daniel, at 6'0" tall. C'mon, Doug Flutie can rest his balls on this dude's forehead. Home skillet is so short he can't even see over the Lubbock skyline let alone the Red Raider d-line. Tech covers the spread and then some. TTech 45 - Mizzou 31. Beat that TigerMeat, Bell Boy!!


Our last game of the day is Nebraska (-7) at Iowa State (+7). I am so freaking glad this is the 7PM ABC game. Way to pick the hot match-up, Disney. I really don't know about this one. So let me consult my resident oracle, Can-O-Corn. Hey Can-O-Corn, what you thinking? You are golden, my boy! Nebraska covers easily. CornChuckers 35 - ISU 21!

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Next week we will examine the outcomes and decide whether or not BearMeat will become Central Texas' number one betting website! Keep the dollars flying and go Bears!

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2 Comments:

  • I'm placing all my rubles on the Baylor game. Great predictions, "Neff the Greek," I'm sure the revenue from our new gambling initiative will help fund our Rebuild Sunny's Canned-Food Drive.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 8:17 AM  

  • Can-O-Corn is heading up the Rebuild Sonnys initiative. His uncle, Cream Corn, was the DJ there. His favorite band is...Dan Chovie and the Olive Tones.

    By Blogger Pat Neffistopheles, at 10:28 AM  

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