Thursday, October 19, 2006

Great BearBackers in History: Why Not Start With the Bible?

This is the first in a series of posts that will highlight Great BearBackers in History. These people were BearBacking long before BearMeat. In fact, BearBacking's roots and endorsement can be found, among other places in the Bible. Of course, you all know who I'm talking about, the original BearBacker, the one and only, Elisha. Until this guy came along, Bears weren't the official team mascot of God or even the B. For all of you heathens not familiar with 2 Kings 2:23-24 it's time to educate yourself.

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

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Elisha giving the1st Sic 'em.

Elisha bleeds green and gold, not on this particular day since the youths were doing the bleeding, but I mean it in a figurative way. He was Baylor. He was tired of these Aggie kids running their mouths, so he did what any B student would do in the same position. He asked God to curse them. And talk about results-- two bears=42 maulings! If we only had those she bears on the O-line I think our running problems would quickly end. God's instrument of justice came in the form of two bears. At that moment, God passed up lions, tigers, and ostriches, and hooked Elisha up with bears to dish out an ass-kicking. If it weren't for Elisha, our mascot could have just as easily been the Serpents or the Pillars of Salt. And for that reason Elisha is this post's Great BearBacker in History.


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Bears learning to play football: Thad the Bear taking a snap.

3 Comments:

  • This is by far the greatest post to date. Kudos on inagurating the BearBackers, Good Judge.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 7:25 PM  

  • I believe the haze of Madden '07 is fading and I can once again live a semi-normal life. However, it is a daily battle with addiction.

    By Blogger Judge Baylor, at 10:11 PM  

  • 19 points in the last quarter to win by one with a minute to play and BearMeat is silent?

    Bell plays a Heisman worthy game and his biggest supporters remain mute?

    You've either done too much celebratory drinking or have collectivly fallen victim to excitement induced heart attacks.

    We here at FromMalibuToWaco are hoping it's the prior.

    By Blogger Jonathan Swanburg, at 1:42 PM  

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