Saturday, October 14, 2006

BevoMeat: Rampant Cannibalism Rules the Day

I hate to do this, the Agriculturalists should never be compared to anyone, but a line in this article certainly lends itself to such comparisons. The article drops this line, "Another popular rumor is that University alumni and players feast on the deceased mascots, but only the original Bevo met that fate." Hold on. You can't drop a line like that and then move on without any explanation. They ate their mascot. Who does something like that other than the Agriculturalists? They go through 12-13 collies a season. It wouldn't be so bad if they only ate the mascot, but trying to create hybrid Agrics must be a crime against humanity or at least against the penal code.

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Now back to the subject at hand. The alumni and players ate their mascot. Was the mascot young and in its prime? Was it done after discovering his elderly corpse in a pile of manure? Was it for luck before a big game or after a big win? The B is guilty of many crimes, anti-science/progress, homophobia (which is apparently rampant even at our state's most sophisticated universities) , and stray cat killing but we have never, even at our drunkest and most depraved, eaten our bear. Abuse them, yes. Neglect them and discard them, several times. But never put it on the grill and cook it up. Another round of questions is in order. Were there spices involved? Was the skin used to make boots or the horns turned into a chalice or ornaments on a Viking helmet? Until these questions are answered, and as you can tell from my shoddy analysis and insight from previous posts I'm not going to do the research, I will continue to commingle the Barbarians of the Brazos and the Horns.

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  • Wow. Longhorns of old were much like the Aggies of today, but without the overalls and blood diseases from years of in-breeding.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 1:15 PM  

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