Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Aggie Pail Kids, Series 2

Hello again. Let us continue with some more fun natured ribbing of our southern Brazos neighbors. And we all have seen what the Brazos looks like. Definitely explains why a certain Aggy Corp Member named Pisshead McKenzie recently claimed online, "You see, we really ain't squeezing our balls, we just massaging our lil brains...cos the teams done gone too much scoring." Tsk, tsk, tsk. Thumbs up their asses.


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Fun Fact:
I was one of the top Texas prospects coming out of high school this past year. My pops played basketball for Pittsburgh and my mommy was an Olympic sprinter. Oops, I became an Aggie. Now all my hopes and dreams are crumbling before me. If Fat Man Lane wasn't in the way I could be a 100 yd. per game rusher. He smells like rotten cabbage too.


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Fun Fact:
Hey, hey, you all! I'm Martellus and I'm founder of the Central Texas Chapter "Legion of Doom" Local 304. On Mondays through Thursdays we like to gather around and play World of Warcraft together; Fridays we convene at a local laser tag center with prizes going to the highest scores. Of course, Saturdays are the LOD's Douche Days. And Sundays are days of self-reflection. Go Doom!


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Fun Fact:
I'm part of a special trio of strapping young men located in A&M's backfield...if you know what I mean. I love the floral/cabbage scent of hot totty Jorvorskie. He's a Pole's Pole! And my what a find that Goodson is. Also, don't get me started about Marty Martellus! Yes sir, boys, I do like to step out from the back sometimes. That boy can spread his lesion of womb all over me.


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Fun Fact:
Last year, I was deemed "Mr. Touchdown" by the Aggie faithful for scoring 5 TD's on my first five touches of the season. Unfortunately, I only scored one more touchdown in my next 7 games. They then started calling me "Wussboy from Westlake High" and "He Who Snaps When One Hits Ground" after I broke my leg in the eighth game of the season. I'm fairly certain that C.J. Wilson will tear my body in half and devour my vital organs. Pray for Schroeder.


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Fun Fact:
Do you know who I am? I'm the second leading scorer on the team this year. I'm from Hondo, "God's Country, Don't Drive Through It Like Hell." I'm captain of the Aggie Broseph Club, aka ABC (our pledge brosephs can remember that better). I'm a kinesiology major, so I'll probably see you in a couple of years at Gold's Gym selling anabolic steroids and sad stories. I'll take care of you in the bathroom. I'm irrelevant.


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Fun Fact:
I really don't play much. I am the main kickoff returner, but I'm really just too short and my potential has run dry. This was supposed to be my breakthrough season with easy games left and right, but I have only had 8 catches this season. I got real lucky against Missouri. Like the rest of my team, I need help from officials, turnovers and penalties to succeed. I can't do things on my own. I'm a poor, poor Aggie.

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4 Comments:

  • Yeah... this used to be the lone voice of reason out of Waco, but you must've been drinking Waco water with whatever GuyMo's been putting in it (he whole town's IQ is suddenly lower than B's rushing average). Time to switch back to bear guys!

    So, this time, for a change, why not start all the suicidal rantings before the game is lost? No reason to quench the creative juices until Sunday and strive so fruitlessly in the meantime with this Pail Kids nonsense.

    Time to tap the keg!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:03 PM  

  • i just thought i'd remind you that your school colors are Green and Gold..not burnt orange and that despite the fact that both schools are located on I-35..you gotta come up with your own material.

    "Poor Aggy" is Texas'. spend a lil less time with this borderline retarded pail kids thing, and maybe you'll come up with something unique to Baylor.

    ..but then again, you're certainly not at Baylor cuz you're a genius.

    By Blogger Brad, at 1:51 PM  

  • So...a aggy geeneeuss bees tha smarty mens? me thunked tha B were tha smarty mens. what brad means ''borderline retarded''? aggy mens confyuzes i. me jus heppy wayco pretyy place an not hav ugly twin sisterwife like Bryan down rivr frum heer.

    B 56 - Poor Aggy 3

    jus like tha longhorn mens beet them evry all years

    By Anonymous uniqe geeneeuss B mans, at 2:49 PM  

  • Beware of B-Rad he is a little cranky because the leg fell off his Schroeder the Grate.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:44 AM  

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