Monday, September 11, 2006

Shawn Bell Heisman Watch: Washington State

BearMeat Subscribers:

I would personally like this post to commence a more interactive era of BearMeat. Feel free to comment on, disparage, curse, or praise the notion that Shawn Bell may emerge as a dark horse Heisman candidate. Feel free to expound on your views in our "Comments" section. Why does BearMeat keep insisting that Bell is in the running for this prestigious award, which no B player has ever been seriously considered for?

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To answer that question, we direct you to Shawn Bell's career numbers at the B, the potential of the AirBear (or the BearRaid/AirRaid/WarrenMoon) offensive system to vault Bell into the statistical stratosphere, and the general enthusiasm for a Texas QB to fill the cleats of a recently-departed UT field general who taught us all how to dream. Those factors alone should be enough to have Bell mentioned with other potential Heisman candidates like Adrian Peterson, Brady Quinn, and Colt McCoy.

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So, are we prophetic or misguided when we propose that Shawn Bell is the greatest QB in the history of the B and may just nab the most coveted award in collegiate athletics? Decide for yourself. We're busy making flight plans and hotel reservations for the Heisman ceremony in NYC.

Prediction against Washington State: 23 - 34, 340 yds, 3 TD, 0 INT. Bell will make the Cougars look like pussycats with his field vision, accuracy, and Christian leadership qualities. Also, BU by 6 in 2OT.

[Thanks to member 91Bear for this awesome poem:

Do they still play the blues down in Waco
When football season rolls around
When the sun fades away,
Do the Cubbies still play
In their turf-covered burial ground
When I was a boy they were my pride and joy
But now they only bring malaise
To the home of the brave
The land of the free
And the doormat of the NCAAs]

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  • In order to be eligible for the Heisman, a player can’t simply embarrass a team that’s accustomed to being embarrassed. Northwestern State was still suffering the ill effects of watching their mascot get violated by “Chief Brave Spirit.”

    By Blogger Jonathan Swanburg, at 11:46 PM  

  • Hah! Our own Pat Neff alerted us to that very link in our NW St preview. Thanks for the heads-up as well. I must take issue with your Heisman criteria: plenty of Heismans have racked up big numbers against customarily-embarrassed teams. While, I don't have specific evidence for this claim, rest assured that the proposition is quite true. Shawn Bell is Heisman bound, and I don't care if we have to play every Division I-AA team in the country to prove it, humiliation-accustomed or not!


    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 6:57 AM  

  • C.J. Wilson has a better chance at the Heisman than Shawn "The Chairman" Bell but I admire the sentiment. I wonder if anyone in Waco other than me has a Heisman vote? I've never voted for anyone other than a placekicker.

    By Blogger Judge Baylor, at 6:57 AM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger Jonathan Swanburg, at 2:52 PM  

  • I’ve done some math and Bell’s chances of becoming the 72nd recipient of the Heisman are an astounding 1 in 43,000,564. Amazingly, my calculations showed that he and I have the exact same odds. Fortunately for Bell, if Paris comes to town filming The Simple Life, his chances of getting Leinert’s (and countless others) sloppy seconds, are a very respectable 1 in 3 while mine are a paultry 1 in 10.

    By Blogger Jonathan Swanburg, at 2:56 PM  

  • Those statistics are impressive indeed. Sadly, they don't factor in the BearMeatBellCurve, which actually favors upstanding, All-American QBs from McLennan County. We have it on good authority that the Heisman voters will, for the first time, employ this BellCurve in this year's assessment.

    Also, while Shawn's chaste ways would preclude any "one night in Paris" activities, I know a certain CB by the name of CJ that might have a pretty decent chance (if he hasn't been there already). In any case, the media would know about it before Paris realized it was over.
    Red, out.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 3:08 PM  

  • I just hope he wears a sweet shiny suit to the awards ceremony. And the Texans take him with their first round pick.

    By Blogger Inigo Montoya, at 3:30 PM  

  • Inigo:

    Who, CJ or Bell? I imagine this year's Heisman to be much like last year's with two candidates from the same BCS school (the B), one of whom will win, beating out the hotshot UT QB (McCoy).
    Sorry, CJ, in spite of your aspirations, this year's Heisman goes to Bell, The Christian Gentleman.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 6:47 PM  

  • CJ won't sniff the Heismizzy. Will have to settle for owning the most real estate on opponents' bulletin boards. The only question left to answer is whether Shawn's trophy will be permanently displayed at 150 Bear Run or the new on-campus practice facility.

    By Anonymous Inigo Montoya, at 6:56 AM  

  • I think we need some clarification. The 2006 Bell Curve only applies to individuals from the neighboring Bell County not people named Bell. That’s why Ramonce Taylor actually had the best chance for the Heisman before his summer of fun.
    JS- I’d say your odds are 1 in 5 and I'm rooting for you.
    IM- I also hope Texans take Bell with their 1st pick.*

    *I want the Houston Texans franchise to continually fail.

    By Blogger Judge Baylor, at 7:08 AM  

  • CJ will go to the Bengals with the last pick of the first round. Super star playah to the Super Bowl Champs!

    By Blogger Pat Neffistopheles, at 8:50 AM  

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