Tuesday, September 19, 2006

BlackKnightMeat: Smart Agriculturalists

I'm sure you can't wait to get my insights on the upcoming game against Army. I may have some before Saturday. But what I'd rather talk about is the fact that Army has two football teams. No, not JV and Varsity. They have the team the B plays on Saturday and they also have a sprint football team. No, it isn't like the Arena League. The CSFL (Collegiate Sprint Football League) consist of five teams: Army, Navy, Princeton, Cornell, and UPenn. It seems that everything is exactly the same as the version we are all familiar with, except for there being a weight limit of 172.0(they include the zero). That is in their rule book. Not only that, but they must have a minimum body fat content of 5.0% by weight and a urine specific gravity of 1.020 or less. I guess this is to combat the ever present football anorexia.

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It's like we are back in the '40s when Army dominated college football and an offensive lineman weighed as much as the Heisman trophy. These once proud programs decided that modern football had passed them by, so it was time to invent a new version of football. The B should take this example to heart and alter the game for our benefit. Perhaps, a game where your punter must kick a pass to the WRs and also play middle linebacker, and your CB must out trashtalk the other team. We could join Vandy, Northwestern, Stanford, and Duke and form a superleague. The only thing keeping us from this dream is gumption.

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