Monday, August 14, 2006

FrogMeat, Part 3: My Kingdom for a Lone Star

We want to be honest in our assessment of the TCU-Baylor match-up. I believe our principles may say something about this. If not, I am perhaps recalling my childhood and relying on the godless Czech Republic Scout Promise of my youth, “to serve the highest Truth and Love faithfully at all times”. With that in mind I will review the B’s most glaring football weakness.

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THE B

Alcohol at the B’s football games can only be consumed at the George's Party Zone Big "O" Tent (The Hot Box) or in some willing townies’ yard across from the stadium.

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Yes, I know we are there for the game, not the 100 degree temperatures or likely dehydration that ensues after drinking a pony keg before 11 am. But were you at UT-BU last season? Floyd Casey was burnt orange and by the 2nd quarter the Baylor Line was signing the Eyes of Texas. I would never advocate consuming excessive amounts of alcohol, but a fifth of whiskey would have really hit the spot. Yes, I know what you are thinking, the rules have never stopped anyone from drinking the entire game, but unfortunately, for me, the illegality ruins the oh so delicious taste of a warm beer in the afternoon. Grade D-.

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TCU
TCU on the other hand allows booze in their stadium parking lot. Sure they have unreasonable limitations, like no glass bottles, kegs or public intoxication, but you can toss back a few before watching the game. TCU understands the delicate balance between the need of Texans to imbibe tall boys and the negative publicity of an alcohol poisoning. Grade B.

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ASSESSMENT

I give the intangible edge to Baylor. Most of the students have been hiding their excessive drinking from their families for years, so having to drink on the DL in a car or in the middle of the student section comes very naturally. Still, TCU has the edge in the match-up. This is a long standing problem for the B and not remedied soon. It’s that time of year when the townie is king. Advantage TCU.

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3 Comments:

  • Doesn't that last pic violate our strict no-Koresh-references policy? Only kidding. Well analyzed, Judge. The tailgate situation is ever so crucial, especially for the games against ranked opponents.

    By Blogger Red Andrews, at 10:58 AM  

  • Where to tailgate? Where to tailgate?

    By Blogger Pat Neffistopheles, at 1:42 PM  

  • Red,

    Good point. Unfortunately when you think of the King of the Waco Townies the 1st thing that comes to mind is the man who claimed to be King of the Jews. I'm glad my relationship with the Davidians only lasted forty years.

    Back to the post. It pains me to give the B a low score on the tailgating rules but ignoring that facet of the game won't change our match-up problem.

    By Blogger Judge Baylor, at 1:48 PM  

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